#self denial

[roofhaunting]

[howifeltabouthim]

They say that self-control is a finite resource and it seemed to Ivy that after her sixteenth birthday, she'd already used up her lifetime's worth of moderation and discipline and henceforth could never deny herself a single thing, not even a cup of coffee.

Susie Yang, from White Ivy

[shihlun]

Yoshishige Yoshida

- Eros + Massacre

1969

[lilgreeneyes71]

Self denial

Luke 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him ( deny himself ), and take up his cross (daily), and follow me.9:24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

Galatians 5:24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

Romans 6:6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should (not serve sin).6:7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.6:8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:

1 Peter 4:1 Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;4:2 That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God.

Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men,2:12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;

Colossians 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.3:3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.3:4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:3:6 For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:3:7 In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.3:9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; 3:10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

[neverbeliketherest]

Soooo frustrating! Have you ever felt that your mind and your body are working together to deny you pleasure? Just at the cusp of tipping over the edge into sweet oblivion, and your brain has an errant thought that brings you back from the brink.. again... and again...

[wisdomfish]

"Self-denial is giving up creature comforts to work toward a worthy goal. Penance is self-punishment in hopes of earning God's favor, which is absolutely, 100 percent impossible."

John MacArthur

[frank-olivier]

The Weight of the World: Simone Weil’s Anorexia and the Burden of Responsibility

Simone Weil, a French philosopher and mystic, struggled with anorexia nervosa throughout her life. Her struggle with food and nutrition was closely linked to her spirituality, philosophy and personal experiences.

Weil was born into a Jewish family in Paris in 1909. She was a brilliant and thoughtful child who developed a deep interest in philosophy, literature and spirituality from an early age. Weil's spiritual search led her to explore various Christian and mystical traditions, which would later influence her thoughts on self-denial and asceticism.

Weil's problems with food and nutrition began in her late teens. She began restricting her food intake, often skipping meals or eating very little. This behavior was partly due to her desire for self-control and spiritual purification. Weil saw food as a source of temptation and believed that she could focus on spiritual goals by denying herself physical food.

Weil's anorexia was closely tied to her philosophical and spiritual beliefs. She believed in the concept of "decreation," which involved shedding worldly attachments and desires to achieve a state of spiritual purity. Weil viewed her body as a prison and believed that by rejecting physical needs, she could overcome the limitations of the flesh and connect with the divine.

Weil's anorexia was also related to her practice of self-mortification, which involved physical self-denial and suffering. She believed that by inflicting pain and distress, she could atone for her own sins and those of others. Weil's self-mortification practices included fasting, sleep deprivation, and physical labor.

Weil's relationship with food was complex and ambivalent. On the one hand, she viewed food as a necessity and a source of pleasure. On the other hand, she believed that indulging in food was a sign of weakness and a distraction from spiritual pursuits. Weil's eating habits were irregular and she often had to go without food for long periods, which led to malnutrition and related health problems.

Weil's anorexia had serious consequences for her physical and mental health. She suffered from malnutrition, fatigue and depression, which ultimately led to her death in 1943 at the age of 34. Weil died of tuberculosis, which was probably exacerbated by her weakened condition from years of starvation.

Simone Weil's struggle with anorexia has been the subject of much debate and analysis. Some have seen her anorexia as a manifestation of her spiritual search and desire for self-transcendence, while others have criticized her behavior as a form of self-destructive asceticism. Weil's experiences have also been used to illustrate the complexity of eating disorders and the need for a more nuanced understanding of the relationship between spirituality, philosophy, and mental health.

„Simone Weil-Map“ (Thomas Hirschhorn, April 2020)

Melvyn Bragg with Guests: Simone Weil (In Our Time, BBC Radio 4, November 2012)

Saturday, October 5, 2024

[fraye-complex]

I'm trying to get off so I can sleep, but I'm totally fucking numb because my vulvodynia is flaring and I was in a tremendous amount of pain, so I put on my numbing cream but now I can't get to sleep 😭😭

Like, I think I can feel the pressure on the area around my clit, but I only know I'm touching it because my fingers still have feeling 😭

[roofhaunting]

I want to be caged

[lockedin5985]

Impromptu edging session that ends with me begging her to let me stop stroking before I cum, because I don't have permission to cum and it's 2 more weeks added time for cumming without permission. After the session? "I would have let you cum without penalty, since I was making you do it. It was really just a mindfuck. Too bad you begged me not to make you cum."

Yep. Absolute mind fuck.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Put to Death Your Earthly Nature

Put to death, therefore, whatever is worldly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. — Colossians 3:5 | New Heart English Bible (NHEB) The New Heart English Bible is in the public domain. Cross References: Mark 7:21; Romans 6:13; Romans 8:13; 1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Corinthians 6:11; 1 Corinthians 6:18; 2 Corinthians 12:21

[nathanschock]

Jesus told his followers that if they wanted to come after him, they would have to deny themselves and take up their cross. The only way to find yourself, he said, is to lose yourself (a strikingly different agenda from today’s finding-out-who-I-really-am philosophies). From the very beginning, writers, like Paul and John recognized that this isn’t just difficult, but actually impossible. We can’t do it by some kind of Herculean moral effort. The only way is by drawing strength from beyond ourselves, the strength of God’s spirit, on the basis of our sharing of Jesus’s death and resurrection in baptism.

N.T. Wright, Simply Christian, page 223

[kzong-ngajato]

[bean-writes]

So I went to a bar...

So the other day I drove my sister to a concert. I dropped her off safely then went to find some place to hang out until she was ready to be picked up.

I had looked on Google Maps and saw that there was a 24-hour coffee shop just a couple blocks away. Coffee, free Wi-Fi, I could even write while I was waiting - perfect place to hang out!

Except, apparently they're closed 24 hours because everything was dark and locked up.

Darn... But no worries! Right across the street was a place that was still open. It looked like a sports bar restaurant-type place. A little quick research showed that it had great reviews and the photos of the food looked great.

Cool I'll just hang out there instead!

Only it wasn't a restaurant - it was a proper bar.

Edgy in a cool and aesthetic way, with a mural by a local artist painted across one of the brick walls, neon lights backlighting the shelves of drinks, leather booths a cherry lipstick red, patrons in party clothes, leopard prints and cocktail dresses-

And there I stood in the doorway in my blue jean overalls, plaid flannel jacket, a book in my hand, looking like a deer in the headlights.

I stuck out like a sore thumb. But it'd be weird if I just turned around and walked out. Besides, I still needed a place to hang out while I waited and there wouldn't be many other places open this late...

I sat down at a stool and looked around. A female bartender saw me and walked over.

"I'm the designated driver," I squeaked before she could say anything. "No alcohol."

The bartender laughed and smiled. "Coca-Cola?" she asked.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, please. And a quesadilla?"

I hung out at the bar, occasionally glancing up at the other patrons but mostly reading my book and discovering the gooey heaven that was contained within their quesadillas.

All the staff, but especially the female bartenders, were super friendly and checked up on me regularly.

"How are you doing?"

"Need anything?"

"Still doing good?"

Light and friendly and casual, but with a warm and clear message: We're here if you need anything.

I was touched by how well they took care of me (especially considering how I wasn't buying any alcohol from them) and how friendly they were. When It was time to go I tipped well and left a note telling them I couldn't wait to come back (maybe dressed more appropriately next time).

Got home and I told my sisters about what had happened and how kind the staff were.

Sister 1 (youngest sister): "Aw! You got cinnamon rolled!"

Me: "What?? But I'm not a cinnamon roll."

Sister 2 (middle sister): "You are totally a cinnamon roll."

Me: "What? No, I'm not!"

Sister 1: *hugs me enthusiastically* "Aw! You've even got cinnamon roll denial!"

Me *grumbles*: "Oh yeah? Well if I'm a cinnamon roll, then what are you?"

Sister 1: *seriously* "I'm on the cinnamon roll protection squad."

Me: "Wha-?"

Sister 2: *nods sagely*

Me: ...

And that, folks, is how I found out that apparently I am the cinnamon roll.

[angelinotuksarcro]

When you started believing you are not good enough to be loved?

[omo-queer]

god, god, i keep getting so close.

whenever i deny myself, i think so much about giving head—drinking in how someone tastes, how their body responds, every little movement... having control of everything they feel. last time I was denied for a proper while, it drove me crazy going down on someone. the experience was maybe the hottest thing I've ever done.

i should probably figure out how long I want to go for this window of denial—still have no idea whether I'm going to get off tonight (unlikely) or when I hit a week (more reasonable) or longer.

once i'm more in the habit, i'll probably start setting proper goals to stretch myself, but it's been so long since I went longer than I already have (day 3 as of this writing)